Second Day

I woke up to read the message that he wanted to marry me, someday, which made me very sad and I kind of showed that to him, but I stopped to think for some minutes and decided to tell him I didn't mean to look sad, I was just busy. And he believed that or pretended he did. We quarreled about his manners and again I controlled myself to seems like I wasn't mad. The only moment we talked in the morning made me very sad and I had to hide my feelings. I have to lie to him to pretend I'm happy so we don't fight. This doesn't make me happy.

I wasn't very productive today because I know I had to study and anything else I do would be a waste of time and guess what? I wasted my whole Sunday.

We didn't talk much in the afternoon, because I didn't want to fight with him so I just ignored his messages, but I didn't let him know.

He read my blog and became monosyllabic again, and that is the thing I hate the most. Makes me so mad and I told him many times how I hate when he is monosyllabic but I guess he just doesn't care or he forgets everything I say or it's just not important enough to be remembered.

Now it's just awkward because we are just pretend everything is great. I don't think this relationship will last a month, but I promised a month so that is what's gonna be. It was a terrible night of talking to him. He was pretending to be nice and it would be wrong to be mad at him since he was supposedly trying to be good. It makes me so angry when he tries to be nice even though I know he doesn't want to. Sometimes I think he just pretend those things so he can show he's better than me.

This night ended up being very sad and awkward, but it was for both of us, not just for me. Actually, it ended up being a disaster. We fought again. He was rude with me and I was rude with him. I don't know why I feel jealous of him. Jealousy is one of my biggest defects. I have to stop it so that I can improve myself.
I think sometimes he lies to me to avoid long discussions or fights. I don't think he has the courage to leave me and go to the pursuit of happiness.

He asked me about whatsapp and facebook and I told him that he said that if I deleted him from facebook, I shouldn't add him back again and he asked: "What about whatsapp?" And I asked him if he wanted me to add him back and he answered of course. So, in the end, we won't be facebook friends anymore.
It's just a matter of time now.